Block #4: 70-82 (Entry 4)

I have never been a person who was fond of change, that it why I enjoy things staying the same. See in the ward we a set of music that is playing in the game room each and every day. It is the same set of songs over and over again, but I am okay with that, cause something that is the same is normal. I have noticed that some patients (in particularly McMurphy) are no longer enjoying the music. I think it is very kind of the workers, the doctors, and of course, Nurse Ratched to allow music to be played. On another note, another thing that I hope never changes is the red pills we receive each and every night. They allow us to sleep soundly through out the entire night. I have heard stories of patients skipping out on the red pills, and not being able to sleep at night and being fussy. Another thing is that each night when were sleeping soundly the black boys tie a sheet across us just to keep us snug. Some patients don't enjoy it, but I think it is for a good cause. I wouldn't want any of the really crazy people being able to get up at night. Some patients are actually able to get themselves lose, but I believe it is Mr. Turkle, the night worker, but I am not 100% sure so I don't want to accuse him, it isn't the normal thing to do. Some nights I don't always enjoy sleeping. I have dreams that confuse me and make me wonder. It always seems to be the same old dream. I am sitting in a stair well, I am sitting next to this girl and we are chatting then all the sudden from around the corner comes this bigger man. He begins to talk to us, but I can't really understand him. He goes on talking and begins patting me on the head. The girl is laughing but we both find something strange. The man goes on talking and we both get up and walk away but the man won't have it and grabs me by the arm. At that point I always wake up and I have no reason what the dream means, I have brought it up at group meetings in the past, but I always get the same response "it is nothing more than a dream." Nurse Ratched just tells me to ignore it, and now I don't even bother bringing it up anymore. Well it is time for me to go shower and brush my teeth so I must get running. Until next time.

-Frankie